Schmooze with Suze

How Can We Unpack the "Birth Bag" To Better Understand Mom? My Guests: Megan Mangiarcino & Natalie McBride of Baby Boldly

Suzie Becker

The best way to explain parenting is, you don’t know what you don’t know. 

I remember my parents saying, "this didn’t come with a manual."

Then I remember there being a manual... In fact, so many manuals on how to raise the exact kind of kid you want to raise. The formulas... the exercises... People had spent so much time absorbed in the psychology of the child, that for a while, we forgot the mom. But in a society where the people who raise us are losing their rights and their voice... How can we raise them up? 
And that’s what we are going to tackle today...


The journey of motherhood is both deeply fulfilling and relentlessly challenging. On my show today, I have the pleasure of engaging with Natalie and Megan from Baby Boldly. Through their brand, they're doing phenomenal work in addressing the gap in resources and support for new mothers, presenting a more authentic vision of motherhood. They also shared the insight behind starting their company, and how it is helping to disrupt the postpartum experience by providing accessibility, education, and inclusivity. 

This discussion led to a deeper exploration into women's rights, racism, and the stigmas surrounding female anatomy. Navigating through these intricate issues, we highlighted the importance of open discussions and the need to educate the next generation.

www.BabyBoldly.com

So, grab a cup of coffee, and join us on Schmooze with Suze as we celebrate the beauty of motherhood, what a YONI* is, address societal issues head-on, and honor individuals who truly make a difference- #MOMS.

* YONI, (Sanskrit: “abode,” “source,” “womb,” or “vagina”) in Hinduism, the symbol of the goddess Shakti, the feminine generative power and, as a goddess, the consort of Shiva. In Shaivism, the branch of Hinduism devoted to worship of the god Shiva, the yoni is often associated with the lingam, which is Shiva's symbol.

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Speaker 1:

The best way to explain parenting is you don't know what you don't know. I remember my parents saying this didn't come with a manual. Then I remember this coming with a manual In fact so many manuals on how to raise the exact kind of kid you want to raise the formula, the exercises. People had spent so much time absorbed in the psychology of the child that for a while we forgot about mom. But in a society where the people who raise us are losing their rights and their voice, how can we raise the rest of them? Right, and that's what we're going to tackle today. Hi, I'm Sue's here with your weekly dose of culture, values and identity and where we tackle those topics others may consider off limits. A little about me. I'm a busy Gen X mom who, quite frankly, wanted to grow up like the Brady Bunch, but how could I, being raised in the shadow of Schindler's list? So this means I've spent a lifetime navigating these mixed messages we get hit with daily. You know those conversations where we wonder if it's safe to speak our minds. Can we share our experiences, voice our fears and concerns, or should we just keep our mouths shut? Well, too bad. I need to know, but I'm no expert. So I'm going to schmooze the experts and get their thoughts. Why so? When we engage with our kids, colleagues or the countless committees we interact with, we can do it with competence, kindness, confidence and maybe a bit of humor. If this sounds like your cup of coffee, welcome to Schmooze with Sue's.

Speaker 1:

I never considered myself a feminist. I never considered myself not a feminist. I sort of felt that it was like politics. I believe in the people and the power of community and go where I will best be of service. I learned about suffragettes and the Equal Rights Amendment. That was the past, and I'm a modern woman.

Speaker 1:

And then the unimaginable happened, didn't it? The rights of women were reversed. I didn't think that could ever happen, honestly. So I looked for my people to see again how I could best be of service and believe it or not. The place I turned to for information over and over again is a baby boldly company that sells backpacks. So baby boldly is a brand that sells parts that change how we show up to new life, from the pre-packed birth bag to the post-partum kit. Megan and Natalie provide more than that. With their free downloads, with their opportunities for education, awareness and advocacy, they've created a place and a space where moms can be better, so that kids can be better and we can be boldly better together. So welcome back, natalie and Megan Hi Zuby. Thank you, no, thank you for being back and being back in action. You never stop. So we talked last time about how this was a pre-COVID, during COVID, and now we're post COVID venture. Talk to me about the products themselves. Where did baby boldly start?

Speaker 2:

Oh gosh, that takes us back. Yeah, it started from a suggestion from a fellow mom friend that I met in a birth class. She and I gave birth a couple weeks apart and we kept each other company a lot while sitting on our respective couches holding our newborns and trying to figure out this whole motherhood thing and just kind of trying to manage all the struggles. And she said you seem really passionate about all the challenges that motherhood is bringing. You should do something with that. And I thought, well, I'm not qualified for that. I've never seen myself that way. But it stuck with me as I tried to work through my postpartum depression and anxiety and being a brand new mom and I did some market research and learned that there were other moms that were struggling beyond just the two of us with the same sort of things.

Speaker 1:

Imagine I was one of those moms myself and my mom was one of those moms, but we said last time that it's not something, that it's like a haircut right, when you get a good haircut, you don't really talk about it. You wait for someone to compliment you With a bad haircut. You announce to everyone like this is not the way I usually look With postpartum depression. You never announce it, but you feel on the inside like this is not the way I usually look. Why can't I express that? So it's sort of waiting for someone else to come to you and thank God for women like you who did the unthinkable. You can't heal what you don't feel and you can't heal community if you don't bring them in to feel it together. So you took your personal private shame at the time and you kicked that door down.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, in the end I suppose it didn't feel like a kicking of the door down in the throes of it, but it never does. But I did. I surrounded myself, you know, with really great friends who were also joining the motherhood circle, like Megan, and she shared, you know, not in all the exact ways of struggles, but there were there's so many struggles that there were plenty for us to share in our own unique way, and I told her about, you know, what was on my heart about trying to do something with these challenges that we all seem to share and not many people seem to be doing a whole lot about, or at least that I could tell. And so we joined in solidarity and launched Baby Boldly, initially with free content, because we really felt like the first thing that was missing was access to stories and information about our bodies and how they work and just kind of basic things, that we were shocked we didn't know about ourselves and, turns out, we didn't really know about each other as a whole.

Speaker 2:

That was a critical piece to making the journey of motherhood perhaps a little less hard. And so, in preparation for my second baby, I was, you know, chasing a toddler around at the time and knew what it was going to take to pack a birth bag, but I just didn't have the energy or the interest in packing it and you can get so many other things delivered to you and so I Googled pre-packed birth bag and there was nothing. And so I ran the idea by my husband and then I ran the idea by Megan and they were both like you've got a lot of ideas, but this one we should go after.

Speaker 1:

Wow. So, megan, at the time, what field were you in?

Speaker 3:

So prior to this I was in fundraising Development that's right.

Speaker 1:

We have some mutual friends in the development world, and in development there's also marketing and public relations. So components of what Natalie's ideas sparked some inspiration in you right.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, absolutely. I think for me at the time, what I was really struggling with was the whole I had, you know, made set up my whole life to. I'm gonna go back to work, I'm gonna, you know, work full time, my son's gonna go to daycare Like I've got it all figured out. We just moved into a you know a big, nice house and we have the fat mortgage that goes with it. But that's okay, because I'm going back to work and all of the things are gonna work out beautifully. And then, you know, five weeks before I'm set to go back to work, I'm literally crying every single day, thinking what have we done?

Speaker 3:

I would live in a shack if I could just change this whole situation because I'm not ready. You don't know what you don't know, you don't know what you don't know and you just what you expect and what you plan for is never really how it truly feels or goes. And so at that time we had already started doing the ground research for what was going to be at the time, more of a service type of company. So what we wanted to do was kind of take an of our event planning experience and backgrounds because we both had a background in that and bring it to the baby space, and so we were thinking more maternity concierge, baby planner type of services.

Speaker 1:

Where you would call Megan and Natalie and they would source your bag for you like she sourced the bag for herself. Right, right, wow. I did not know that piece of the puzzle. So you were gonna be concierge, which, by the way, would have ended up being babysitters. You would have undoubtedly been like somebody's in a pinch. Like concierge, I need your help. Yeah, I'll pay you $50 an hour to watch my kid.

Speaker 2:

Cause.

Speaker 3:

I would do that.

Speaker 1:

I think I have done that for free, so I apologize in advance. I think we call it friendship or something along those lines, but concierge wow.

Speaker 3:

So you, we were thinking that route. And then when Natalie called with the idea I mean I won't never forget, like where it was standing in my house, when she's told me I mean I was like, it's like your first Elvis concert, tell me I was like I was in the bathroom. Tell me I was on the patio, we had friends over, we were all like getting in the pool for a night swim because I had no idea and yeah and it was People tune in for this breaking news.

Speaker 3:

Right, yeah, and I share it with our two friends who were visiting from out of town. Without an NDA, you didn't have them sign an NDA.

Speaker 1:

You trusted these people.

Speaker 2:

Luckily, whoever these people are.

Speaker 1:

They're deep friends. They are they really are.

Speaker 3:

This was the best man in our wedding, so I think he would have had a lot more to lose, had he. It's still on the idea. Oh, so Natalie calls you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and you're like I don't have a good idea.

Speaker 3:

This is genius, but I think what for us, what it felt bigger is like when you're in a service type of business, you're serving one person at a time yes, the impact it was starting to feel like it wasn't big enough. I think that was already kind of coming into play for us. We're not going to be able to help. It's going to be expensive. Only certain percentage of people are going to be able to afford this service.

Speaker 1:

You're not really hitting the target market right, because this starts with your personal story. This season is personal story to public impact. So having experience with postpartum depression or, in your case, having an experience by the way, today women will cry out loud and say I don't want to go back to work in five weeks. But I remember back then I was still embarrassed about not wanting to go back to work. I thought like, but I told everyone my plan and I was so self-assured in it.

Speaker 1:

So for you to find you're building community around pain points, around the why, why we are this way, why we feel or think this way. So you can't just target the two or 5% of the population who can afford to concierge baby. You're noticing at this point, and you because I'm going to use a word that I'm using a lot this season servants, heart. I see that in both of you you give, you give, and then, when you're done giving, you give some more. Right, you're giving baby bags to people in need, but now you're giving away free resources. So that sort of ties into how this worked. It was more than just being able to service the needs Exclusively. You wanted to be inclusive.

Speaker 3:

Yes, we, even as we were developing and this is our first product rate the birth bag, we the entire time we had, you know, accessibility education. Those were a couple. I'm forgetting what the third pillar was at that time Accessibility education and there was a third one, yeah, there was. But anyways, we, we had these kind of pillars that we would always kind of like, check ourselves as we were building the product Like does it involve these things? Like, are we being accessible? Which is why we have a free download.

Speaker 3:

You can, literally, we give it a, we give our product away for free. Essentially, in the free download of like, we want to save you the time of, you know, doing all the research. If you can't afford to buy the prepacked bag, then let us help you source it in a way that you can afford. We have our minimalist bag, which is, to us, the essentials that you could go, you could be comfortable, you have what you need and that's, you know, a more affordable product. So we always try and keep those at the forefront because we do want to be as accessible as possible and, at the same time, helping to educate through product, and we thought that by creating something like a prepacked birth bag. It was a way of disrupting that time in a mom's life in a way that was also empowering her to make things a little bit easier on herself.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So, getting back to those, I want to address two important points. One, the three, four style of bags that you have, everything from the fully prepared to happy medium to the minimalist. Those are the three style bags at different price points that target exactly what style mom is looking for. The next thing is the downloads that you you know kind of gold, just glazed over it, but I want you to know that I spend so much time promoting the downloads. Part of this because here's what you've got here right the free downloads is not just your birth bag packing list free that you provide. You're providing a pregnancy to postpartum checklist. You're providing a birth plan options.

Speaker 1:

Because when people use that word birth plan, when I was pregnant I was like, yeah, my birth plan is to wing it and they were like, no, you need to have like an idea. And then here's the secret I just wanted to know. For me it was a really tremendously terrifying time because I didn't have any close friends and I didn't have any close family with me when I was pregnant with my first and because I knew my mom had postpartum. I had spent all of my time thinking about how I was going to have postpartum during that entire pregnancy and so my birth plan was scheduled C-section because I didn't think I was brave enough, and back then I was even too embarrassed to talk about all of that and I had no one to talk to. I wish I would have had this. You know the postpartum station checklist, the boundaries checklist. Do you even understand the idea that people tell you what you should or shouldn't do? Right, this is when you should have a sypensi. I don't really want people's germs around my kids. For six weeks and my good friends at BabyBowly have done the research to show me that it's acceptable for me to put up boundaries as a new mother.

Speaker 1:

Birth style options, mama cards for positive affirmations. Your downloads are thoughtful and they're conscientious, and your blog posts identify and talk about things that are very scary and very real. So the next scary thing right, we pack the bag, we have the baby and then I've said this before all you legally need is a car seat. That's it. They don't care about anything else. They want to know you have a car seat that buckles. Five point harness. They didn't ask me if I was qualified. They didn't say um, are you going to stay up all night watching Netflix and sleep through the baby. No one cared right. Take your car seat, take your baby home, and then the postpartum hits and I had no idea what that bathroom situation was going to look like. Yeah, so you came up with the next best product I've ever heard of. Thank you, no, don't thank me. Thank you, tell me about this postpartum bag.

Speaker 2:

Well, um, yes, as you mentioned, that was, um, our next innovative solution driven product that we felt um was necessary for new moms. Um, as you said, susie, you're in great company with so many moms that just have no idea what to expect when they get home with their baby in the car seat and it's, you know, um, it's a very complex time. Um, and you know, this postpartum kit, we feel like, really supports mom with, and in a very sort of comprehensive approach to, her postpartum experience.

Speaker 2:

It's not absolutely everything If we could pack, you know, a mental health therapist an electrician consultant, we would, Um, but we've done what we feel is the next, uh closest thing to taking care of or providing moms already in this reusable travel toiletry bag that is absolutely beautiful and will last her through her journey and motherhood when she gets back to traveling, Um, you know products that are going to support her bleeding, her lactation journey, however she chooses that to go.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no one told me about the leakage.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there's pads in there for top and bottom and, um, we also provide things in there that really care for what we, what we say is all of you and we feel like that's the part that's sort of missing when it comes to moms is like you just um, so aptly shared about if you have a car seat and you can leave with your baby.

Speaker 2:

That's where it ends and it can't, because that's why one in four moms are experiencing a maternal mental health disorder or are taking their own lives or getting addicted to drugs and alcohol, because the pressure is tremendous and as well as the isolation, the yeah coupled with the isolation, I mean yeah. So you know, we put things in there that you know, like cozy socks and um, postpartum affirmations a beautiful yeah, a pack of postpartum affirmations that you can, you know, flip through while you're sitting there with baby or whenever you need a mental pick me up. It's not in any way in lieu of what a therapist could do if you feel like you're experiencing the darkness of a maternal mental health disorder, like depression or anxiety or psychosis even, but it's something that's there that maybe will make a difference.

Speaker 1:

So, on your website you do share the links to a number of organizations specifically designed for any mom who comes on there for one thing and then finds that it's wrap around services. Baby boldly is is boldly going where no mom has gone before, am I?

Speaker 3:

the first one.

Speaker 1:

We're all moms have gone before, but not very many moms feel like they want to. You know, raise that flag and say, hey guys, yeah, we're here. So you have 2020 mom nonprofit to close gaps in maternal mental health care. The blue dot project nonprofit to raise awareness of maternal mental health disorders. Expect full a holistic Haven mental health app for before, during and after pregnancy. M M H L A maternal mental health leadership alliance. Psi. Postpartum support international Prospera mental health support designed for fertility, pregnancy and postpartum. So you have a number of links that are on your website.

Speaker 1:

Your social media account is a highlight for me because a couple of things. One I feel like you guys share stories. I don't know if you share the stories, I don't know who adds to the stories, but you'll have on there the books that you're currently reading to your kids, which are useful, helpful and informative. You'll have memes to make me laugh and smile. You'll have thoughtful posts that inform and educate. Right, this is intentional. You're not just kind of like throwing up a social media calendar at the beginning of the month. It feels like because when something happens, I feel connected to your community right Through triumph, through tragedy.

Speaker 3:

I think that was a big driver for us when we were, when we launched, essentially with just content and early days At that time, I think what we saw a lot of when we were new moms the influencers and the social media accounts that were really active at that time we're all like look at my beautiful nursery. That's perfect, that I've designed and miss mama here.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and just like focusing on the really left on that reachable part aspects of you know those social media, we all know them, we all follow those influencers and that was really what was overtaking social media, and so we felt like there is a lot of space here for influencing that is a lot more worthwhile and relatable and meaningful and helpful. And so we I think Natalie leads our social media and has done a fantastic job of always, you know, we don't, we don't necessarily live for the likes, like we, we I think it starts with what is something we really think is going to be a great thing to share and if, if, we grow our following because of that, terrific, but it's not. We're not authentic. It's authentic and we're here to do it, for we'd rather, you know, make an impact on a smaller number of people that's meaningful than you know have a huge account. That's just noise.

Speaker 1:

I get it, I get it, so let's go there right. The top of your link tree right now addresses racism, and it's all forms of racism right, because it's one thing to click on things, it's another thing to deep dive I'm a deep diver and it had all of the different aspects of what types of education information you're looking to amplify causes and voices that contribute to what I call in Hebrew we call tikkun olam, repairing the world. It's sort of like the opposite of microaggressions. We're finding the microjoys and the micro ingenuity that people are highlighting their space with right. You're kind of reframing where we could be talking about the dark days where we live right now. You're giving me an opportunity to acknowledge it, not dismiss and ignore it. But how can I learn more about it so that I can effectively educate the next generation so they hopefully won't be where we are still today, right? So some of those voices that you're amplifying, definitely in the area of racism and inequality. The other one that obviously is so important is women's rights. So tell me a little bit about a new word I learned today. The word of the day is Yoni Y-O-N-I. Before today, yoni, just so you know, was the nickname for any Jewish boy called Yonatan Really, or Jonathan. It would be Johnny in Hebrew. Oh, my goodness, tell me now that I know my friend's son, yoni, will never be looked at the same again. Sorry, don't apologize, never apologize. So much intersectionality going on here, so much, right?

Speaker 1:

I want to talk about Yoni, how, why we need to amplify and think about something, and I'll give a brief anecdote. Right, I remember having this conversation with my husband that this is a big issue and importance, meaning. I don't know, I'm a dad now. This is not like a thing I think about anymore, and I was like you're an educated, intelligent man and I want to really lean into how stupid you sound right now. Right, because in his mind it was only something when he was getting someone pregnant. I didn't realize that a lot of men felt that way. It didn't occur to them that now that they have the wife and the children, I said well, now you have a daughter, those rights are her rights. And what if your son one day wants to make a decision and the woman that he's with isn't allowed to make her own decision? So let's reframe that situation. Talk to me about Yoni. Who, what, why, where are we with all of these matters. Oh, that is yeah, it's a lot, it's a big.

Speaker 3:

You know, it's like whenever we talk about our anatomy, there's always like a level of like shame, or like we giggle, or you know, you know, you say vagina and then you're like oh, I just said vagina out loud. Like wonder what other people are thinking about. I say who ha, who ha? Show, that's a big one in my family. Oh twat, yeah, go yeah.

Speaker 1:

So there's all these words. I say that you move your spot, you lose your spot. I don't know if I have to now rate this episode, but okay, I'm worth it. It's worth it. Don't apologize, but once you brought it in, I may as well.

Speaker 2:

But that's really it.

Speaker 1:

So we've been so ashamed to say anything about anything and we're giggling and we're looking over our shoulder like it's a racist joke that I would never tell.

Speaker 3:

Right and I so my best friend that I grew up with my whole life. Her name's Mandy Dudley. She actually does some of the artwork that we incorporate into our birth bags, so she's a really talented artist. And Mandy is also very deliberate about words and what words she uses to name certain things, and this was a few years ago, I feel like she first introduced the word yoni to us, and she's like you know, whenever we say like oh, my vagina, blah, blah, blah, like that's, that's just one small part of the full female reproductive system, and so there are times when you want to refer to your entirety and there's not a word for it in the English language. So I honestly don't know the roots of yoni. I'm sure Mandy could tell us that, so for future episodes we can report back, or do I?

Speaker 1:

find out. I'm going to reach out to Mandy. You're going to reach out to Mandy. We'll put in the show notes we're going to find the true definition and Genesis and the genesis, because you're right. When we talk about women's rights or we use that term reproductive rights or I'm saying, I don't mean my vagina, no, it has nothing to do with that part of me.

Speaker 1:

Believe me, it's the part that causes me zero pleasure that we're talking about. We're talking about the part that creates life, that continues and perpetuates the existence of humanity as a species. Am I still correct in this? I'm never sure anymore what I'm allowed to say. What's offensive to people? Right? Which is why I had to have a podcast, because I wanted to make it okay, so that more of us feel less alone. Yeah, absolutely that. Talking about that whole system of keep your hands away from yoni.

Speaker 3:

It's sacred, right? I think the word yoni even sounds like a sacred word.

Speaker 1:

It is. I told you it's from the Bible. Yes, it's Hebrew. Yes, tell Mandy that we blessed it right here at Shmoos with Seuss.

Speaker 2:

I don't know why you're laughing.

Speaker 1:

I'm so happy to hear that because we just bless, we did we did, we did.

Speaker 1:

We did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did.

Speaker 1:

I don't want to add a lot of things to it. I don't want to add that because we're always focussing on that thing, because we think it product. You're not your purpose, you're a purpose driven company that happens to sell products and provide community and keeps adding the resources, like as the hits just keep on coming. You just keep on addressing them, and we're so grateful for women like you who aren't shying away right, because it's a scary time right now. Raise your hand if you have a daughter. Raise your hand if you go to sleep and you wonder, like what's gonna be in 20 years from now, and I genuinely do so. Talk to you about how you address this issue with the dads, the dads in your life, how I mean you have to be around people who probably feel the same way that you do, but then again, you're also spending time with other moms and other dads. Are you ever around dads who are like, oh my God, it's those two again.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, my husband, our husbands, Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha, each other's and our own. I love dads.

Speaker 3:

Yes, absolutely here they go again.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, on your neonium rants, but on the right, on the soap. So my soap box is marginalized communities. I've said that my grandparents are Holocaust survivors. I'm an immigrant, born in this country first person. So for me, that's my pain point.

Speaker 1:

For you guys, you found your purpose driven God's work. That's really what it is to me. Everybody finds their lane that they're sort of in where they are intentional. So, other than your husbands, who I'm sure find you incredible, right, because you went from a lost leader to now, what do we call? I tell my husband you broke even on me At some point. You had to have broke even. Ha ha, ha, ha, ha ha.

Speaker 1:

So I know, with all of the doing that you two do in our community, around our community and, excuse me, in the world, do you ever have other people around you who kind of don't see the same way you do and they do challenge you on this. They wanna know why you don't just sell bags and shut your mouth. Hmm, and I wanna hear yes, I wanna hear if you actually do stand up and speak out to those people and you explain to them why this is so important to you, like on a day to day. It's easy to do it on social media Right. If I were only on social media, that would be one thing, but then I put my money where my mouth is, which means that when I put this out and then I let it get out there and I then go out into the community and I'm out a lot and I want people to challenge me so that I can be encouraged to voice what I feel I'm passionate about. How does that work for you too?

Speaker 2:

It's a really good question.

Speaker 3:

It is a really good question.

Speaker 2:

You're putting us on a good hot seat Good.

Speaker 3:

Yes, I feel like it was more early days, that I feel like there were run-ins with people there and you're doing what and why and are you really gonna make money with that? Okay, and just kind of like you know, didn't saw it as I think very singular product concept as a business.

Speaker 1:

Are you a good businesswoman or a bad businesswoman? That's all they saw this has Okay. So let's move past that, because it's not about business. Obviously, you're now partnered with they're no longer here, but they're very much still in Canada bye-bye baby and MFML partnered with you, and there's national brands that have partnered with you. So this is not a pipe dream, right so? But I wanna talk tochlis. Tochlis is the word for bottom line in Hebrew. Let's talk, real talk.

Speaker 1:

Do you have anyone who said to you like, can't you just really you're very fortunate. Wait, has said what has said. Shouldn't you just focus your attention on being a mom? What are you doing all this? I mean, you could just sell a product. You're taking your kids to the office with you when they're not in school, like, isn't this a little bit more giving back than you're getting back from it? Has there been like a question about more than just the motivation of selling the bag? Right, cause, that would have been enough. That would have been enough and people would have seen that as justification.

Speaker 1:

But now you're going all in. You're adding members to your team. When I met you, two is you two and like another person, and now you've got like a eight team thing of people intentionally looking for market research, because you're not just putting products out there, you're not just doing connections to services, you're polling the audience, you're phoning a friend, what we joked about before. You're doing the due diligence to find out what do moms, what do women want and how can we create more ways for them to engage with each other, to build a bigger, bolder voice.

Speaker 3:

Product purpose and I think for anyone that has kind of been like I don't get it. Why are you? You can make so much more money doing this or that and this. They don't see the bigger drive. I mean, I feel like that that's really comes down to a personality thing. Some people just can't get there when it comes to how they spend their days, and we have always, I think, formed and led the business with impact in mind and whatever monetary success always has come secondary to that. I'm married to an accountant finance guy, so you can imagine the conversations in my household around that but and you reassure him that it's people over profits every day of the week.

Speaker 1:

Right yeah, which keeps bringing in more people.

Speaker 3:

I just think about the example that we set for our kids more than anything Kind of like I don't screw off anyone that is like doesn't get it now and they're just my money's on the next generation. Yeah, and I hope that they see this as not just a business but a lifestyle.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, setting an example that, when they look back, mom was really. She was there and she was providing, but she was also living a life that was meaningful to her. And I think that I would say I don't know that honestly that we've had a lot of doubters. I mean, to be honest, we're not that big Like, we're still pretty small, and I feel like you get more Haters, more haters the bigger you get, and I mean we've had a few haters, but we, like Megan said, are very intentional and driven by how we can provide impact while we're here and with the energy that we have left after being moms.

Speaker 2:

And that's a challenge that we're up for and feels meaningful and isn't empty. And we love that, while we can admit we definitely sit from a place of privilege that we can kind of push against the patriarchal way of approaching work-life balance. And we feel back to Yoni we feel that very immensely as women that there's this imbalance in what the expectations are of us and what we're able to provide and how we manage our mental health around meeting expectations that are quite honestly impossible. And so, in the business that we're building, when wanting it to be impactful, yes, it's product-based, but it's providing a service too, and the way that we run our business. Not, you know, we mentioned setting a great example for our kids, but also for other businesses, and how they can approach the way to work and live, and it doesn't have to all be. I'll admit a little behind the scenes. Megan and I recently sort of had we had a bit of a rude awakening with Bye, bye Baby. You brought that up. They are closed now everywhere, not just in.

Speaker 2:

Gage started in Canada but they're closed in America too. But we really had to go back a bit to the drawing board and it wasn't so much a setback as sort of a reframing of where are we headed and how are we gonna get there. And that wasn't just about business strategy but also about recognizing that our work-life balance had kind of gotten off calter. It was. We were starting to really join that patriarchal train of just like hustle hustle mindset.

Speaker 1:

So you found yourself getting off your track. Oh, I wanna go in there.

Speaker 1:

Lucky for you, I don't have my next guest. She canceled because she has four kids and no help. That's exactly it. And she's trying to start her own business. And it's one of those situations, like you said, where if your work-life balance shifts even slightly and you're Base is not secure it's not, and we said this jokingly before, but I will bet my last dollar up until my last dollar, right this minute, my husband is not talking or thinking about me and the kids. He is thinking about whatever he's singularly focused on, but that's not the way we work. So talk about that.

Speaker 1:

How did you? I mean, when I met you, you guys had a system and I remember you brought your kids in and they would do the bags and it was all like assembly line style and they were so cute and I would say to my kids like, look, you could go into work with her one day. I was kidding, I was kidding. They could not. No, no, they'll try to sell everything to people on the streets in a garage sale. They need their sales abilities. We could use them. Sales Becker's are Bogo okay and they take a very, very low percentage. So if you want them in your sales force, you can activate them right now. You see, brooklyn, she's made for sales.

Speaker 2:

She loves that.

Speaker 1:

So what happened? We? You went big. We were internal whistleblowers weren't we?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, we were, we went big and it got, we went off. Not we went off the rails, but like everything kind of, just like got too big, too quickly.

Speaker 1:

You know, like that meme, like I girl bossed my way too hard. You know it's like, but you already are women bosses and you're legitimate things. So what happened?

Speaker 3:

Well, we got to the. We got to the, we climbed this mountain at a very, very fast pace and we got to the top and then the mountain exploded and then we had to Found ourselves a monster Ski down, and so I mean, essentially what happened? Is we sort of I had a little mental breakdown, basically. I basically had a total emotional breakdown. I came into the office one day and I just kind of like I just kind of vomited all over Natalie and it was like not pretty, it was ugly, and she was so graceful and just heard me and validated what I was saying she's my safe space and how I felt she oh yes, she is my safe space.

Speaker 3:

And so she was like okay, what can I? And her response was so perfect. This is why she's my spouse, she's I'm, I get it. She was like and I was just like I'm crying and I'm saying all the things and I'm like I just can't do this anymore and I'm freaking out. And she was like okay, I think you should take a day to think of like you need to go home, breathe, think about, take all the time you need to think about what it is that you, what you would like this to look like, and then let me know, when you're ready, how I can either help you further flesh that out or, once you know exactly how you want it to look, tell, share it with me so I can help support you and holding true to that. And that's exactly what I did.

Speaker 3:

I said all that you did, you're like the dream spouse she really is. She really is.

Speaker 1:

See, this is why we can't have these things at home.

Speaker 2:

Listen up, jimmy, and at work Right?

Speaker 1:

Never will it happen, jimmy. You don't have the bands with for Natalie's organic servant's heart. She's seen me freak out with my own kids and she's like you've got this.

Speaker 3:

Yes, you just take a minute, it's okay, yeah, no, she just said exactly what I needed to hear, and she models the behavior.

Speaker 1:

For me as a mom. It's not just modeling the behavior as a mom to a child. You are, I'm so grateful for you. I keep begging to invite her over to my house for Friday night, but then I cancel on her because I'm not available. Like it's become a disaster. I'm desperate to hang out with her, but instead I know that our kids are hanging out, so I know, if I have one of her children, or even both, if she'll send them in my home. I get some Natalie-isms. You do Absolutely. So. She says to you go, take your time, Think it through.

Speaker 3:

And then I think it was good, because it also kind of forced her to do the same thing when she didn't even maybe think that she needed to do that. So then we both came back to the table with like a hey, here's where I think I would operate better at an equilibrium, kind of like this we built out a schedule and we shared it with one another so we could respect one another's schedules, and it helped tremendously just to give, I think, ourselves the permission to say like these are the boundaries I need to live within in order to not go off the rails again like we just did.

Speaker 1:

To recalibrate so that you fail forward? Yes, and then instead of it being, like you said, an explosion, it was sort of an implosion. That had to happen, because you can only build up stronger and better if you break down what was sort of crumbly to begin with. So now you're the bigger, braver, bolder baby, boldly, and slower and slower.

Speaker 2:

We're so much slower. Yeah, we committed to a slower pace. We're like what are we hustling for, you know?

Speaker 1:

like we're bolder and slower KPIs because KPIs, kpis.

Speaker 3:

right yeah, those pasty monthly quarterly, you know.

Speaker 2:

Right, but it's your company. Who do you answer to? We were like why are we hustling ourselves? Who's your board, your board of?

Speaker 1:

yourselves. You were gonna disappoint yourselves in your own board meeting over the bathtub. What was exactly your big fear here? That's it, and it goes back to that mindset that we're always. Nobody wants to say this out loud, but the truth is, it's not the patriarchy that I'm trying to impress, and it's not even my mom or my dad that I want them to tell me that they're so proud of me. It's me, yeah, it's me. Hi. I'm the problem. It's me Right, because I sent my kid to camp a Disney kid and she came home a Swifty. Oh God, oh God is right. Both of us with the con, none of them. Mazel Tov, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I'm obsessed with you, megan Mandar, shino and Natalie McFried See, I pronounced it correctly. Yes, you did. The truth because it's we really are trying to live up to our own expectations, whether it starts with the idyllic pregnancy, the idyllic birth, the idyllic child raising, whether it's gonna go back to work right away or I'm gonna take the maternity leave and I'm gonna thrive through maternity leave. It's gonna be beautiful like an Instagram post, all the nursery, the prepacked birth bag. You don't know what you don't know. But now we're this generation of moms who's like vomiting it all over each other and saying, hey, this is gonna help you immensely, pick and choose what you wanna keep from this, but I'm gonna give you all of it. We're gonna give you the whole menu. Pick from the appetizer, the entree, the soup and salad, the dessert. There's no limit. This is a buffet.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and trust your instinct. Say that again and trust your instinct.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

You know from a very young age especially girls, we know are we're betraying our inner gut from the beginning, and as moms right now, we're trying desperately to not do that to our girls, because we're learning that when we trust our own Yoni, we're in more harmony and balance with ourselves and then with each other, and so we feel like the products and built-in service that we're offering really helps moms sort of streamline that decision-making. What kind of mom are you? Minimalist, happy medium, fully prepared. Decide once, move on to the next thing that's important to you.

Speaker 2:

Yes, don't scroll all over Pinterest trying to put together the perfect nursery, because that's not what's gonna get you through the tough times Right having all of your supplies, having a therapist available to you when. What if you get to that point? Having somebody to call, having even a micro village it doesn't have to be a huge village, but something to call on. It's not about the Instagram nursery. It's about trusting your instinct, making the decisions that are going to really fully benefit you as the mom, because no one's gonna do it for you. They're gonna buy you a bunch of cute onesies.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely right. The biggest takeaway for me in this moment I wanna thank you both for being here is that Natalie's wearing a t-shirt that says baby boldly, but first mom, and it means a lot because as moms, we forget that and there's no dad that's gonna remind us. So we count on other moms to say like hey, are you okay? Hey, how can I help you? Hey, do you need a shoulder? Do you need advice? Do you need me to just listen? Right, we've kind of moved on to this 2.0 community of support, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't still stand up and speak out and advocate. So wwwbabyboldlycom is the website. You can find them on social media and Instagram at babyboldly and if you go to their link tree, you can instantly be connected to a myriad of amazing causes and programs to participate, advocate and become more educated in. So any last thoughts?

Speaker 3:

Gosh, may your yonis go forth and prosper.

Speaker 1:

Amen, well said Thank you again, ladies, Thank you.

Speaker 2:

Suzy, you're going to be with you.

Speaker 1:

It's time for our honorable mention. Mention is the Yiddish word for a person of integrity and honor, with a sense of what is right and responsible. This week's honorable mention is E Denise Levy of Blessed Memory, a fiery political advocate who spent decades as a Jacksonville City Council member. Ms Lee's roughly quarter century run as a council member occurred in between 10 years as a state legislator and a mayoral aide, in a political career shaped by dogged activism. Mayor Donna Deegan said Ms Lee embodied what it means to be a public servant. She was a relentless fighter for what was best for the city. The positive legacy of her work can be felt throughout all of Jacksonville. Our prayers and our hearts are with the family of Ms Lee at this time.

Speaker 1:

If you know of someone who is the kind of mensch who should get an honorable mention, send me a note at schmoozwithsuesorg or drop me a line on Instagram. That's going to do it for us today. Thanks for sticking around. Make sure to subscribe to SchmoozwithSues on YouTube and follow me on Instagram to get your daily dose of chutzpah. I'm Sue's, your well-informed smartass who's not afraid to stand up and speak out, because what's an envelope if not for pushing? Hey, stay inspired and inspiring.